I was talking to a female friend of mine recently about problems she was having with a guy she was dating.  She was really into this guy, and he kept saying he was too, but she didn’t feel like he was, and ultimately was getting really frustrated that his words and his actions weren’t lining up. After asking a few questions I came to the simple conclusion he wasn’t as into her as he was saying, which brought her to ask the question “Why do guys lie about how they feel?”

The answer is simple: It’s the path of least resistance. Now let me make it clear that not all guys lie, and even ones that have don’t lie all the time.  However girls aren’t exactly receptive to hearing that most guys naturally don’t have the same romantic capacity as they do. So what do we do? We lie about it. Because if we don’t the girl will leave us for someone else who will lie. If a girl is presented with a guy who is honest about how he really feels and a guy who feels the same way but will lie about feeling more, she will choose the liar every time. Not because he’s a liar, but because he says what the girl wants to hear.

But these lies aren’t always so innocent. Sometimes a guy really is lying about how he feels just to keep a girl around. So how can you tell if a guy is lying about his feelings? Just examine how he acts. Does he “forget” to call you back? Cancel or postpone dates? Say he’s going to be somewhere or do something and doesn’t follow through? If these things happen regularly (can’t judge based off of one or two times) they are ALL signs of someone who isn’t interested even if they say they are.

Ultimately, it is my belief that most guys will lie about how strongly they feel in many romantic settings simply because most guys don’t have the same romantic capacity as girls do. But when it comes to figuring out whether or not a guy’s actual feelings match what he says they are, actions speak louder than words.